It may be of interest to you that according to recent demographic data, there are more single people alive today than ever before in history. There is clearly no shortage of available single people.
Being single can be a wonderfully fun and option-filled lifestyle. It can also be extremely difficult in that our culture tends to be so couples and family oriented. What can singles do to get support with and from other singles, and also put themselves in situations where they are most likely to meet a potential partner?
The social world of the single person should be like the financial world of any adult: diversify your assets and resources. While isolation is the worst coping strategy, jumping into a new intense relationship out of need or loneliness is a close second. Committing to spending time with a variety of single people and singles’ organizations is your best bet to feel good about yourself and maximize your chances for companionship and love in the long run.
The good news is that today’s singles scene is more organized and rich than ever before. There are a wide variety of singles activities to fit anyone’s interests or needs. At the RELATIONSHIP INSTITUTE, we maintain a file of Michigan singles organizations that we distribute freely to anyone who would like one. If you know of a good organization that you’d like others to know about, or if you’d like a copy of our Singles Resource List, call (248) 546-0407 or email us at info@relationship-institute.com and we’ll get one right out to you.
Many people enter singles organizations after the breakup of the serious relationship. While the temptation may be great to jump right in and get seriously involved with a new person, that is the single riskiest thing a recently single person can do. Recovering and healing from a divorce or breakup of a serious committed relationship takes time (at least a year or two) and the support of others. Research backs up the risk of “rebound relationships”. People who marry again within one year of the legal date of their divorce have a 79% subsequent divorce rate. While this number seems high, from the perspective of a conscious approach to relationships that we take, it is not surprising. You cannot possibly know who you are marrying in only one year, under any circumstances, but especially while experiencing the hurt, confusion and trauma of a breakup or divorce.
Do yourself a favor. Get involved in several singles’ groups. Attend functions on a regular basis. Take time to heal. Develop a good support system around you that will be with you when you are ready to begin dating again. At the worst, you will develop some great friends and companions. At the best, you’re laying the foundation for a balanced, healthy social network out of which a serious relationship can grow. And when that seemingly special person does come along, you have a great resource in your support system of singles to help you see if they really are compatible with you for the long haul.
Creating a diversified social life is one great way to insure that you will not only survive but thrive in today’s single world. And it’s also a great way to refine your interpersonal skills while getting ready for your next foray into the world of dating.